The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest useful link as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if you can check here the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do check that wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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